It's 2:10 AM and I have not been able to sleep. I knew this question was churning all day in my heart for a reason!! This question has come up so many times, and even more so with the post the other day about our treasure Elizabeth, that I just had to address it publicly.
I am thrilled that so many are wondering and praying and asking.
Here's my thoughts.....
I have often heard people say, "I am praying to see if this is the Lord's will for me. I have such a desire to adopt, but I am single."
There are two concerns that come to mind with this question:
1. Is it God's will?
2. But I'm single...
Whether it's about adoption or really anything else - when praying about "God's will" we must first find out if it in anyway contradicts with scripture. If it does, then it is most definitely NOT God's will.
When this applies to adoption, the question should be....."Is there anywhere in scripture where God says, "Do NOT care for the orphans"?"
Of course there is NOT!! Almighty God says there are two things that show true religion: (1) caring for the orphan and (2) caring for the widow.
There is not one place in scripture that I am aware of that God says, "You are single, sit back and take it easy, the care of the orphans is only for them-thar married folk." =)
Not a chance!!
The Lord has one definition of "true religion" - - -Caring for the orphan and widow
He did NOT say that pure religion was being a: pastor; staff pastor; Bible college employee; Sunday School teacher; world evangelist; prophet; deacon; elder a nice person or anything else.....
He simply said: show me you love me by caring for the orphans and widows.
Okay, so now is it God's will that single people (specifically) care for them. At the risk of sounding silly: How could something that is clearly God's heart not be His will for you?
I tend to think that people who struggle with this question are truly struggling with this: I want this so bad, I must not be worthy of it. (And that would be a lie from the pit of hell.)
Sweet bloggy friends: God has given you ONE life to live. It is only to be lived for Him. If it is lived for Him, He will one day say, "Well done thou good and faithful servant." It is not to be lived to please yourself but to please Him and only Him.
So how could God's will be different for you just because you are single?
It isn't.
It is the same.
We are to live to please Him by taking care of orphans, caring for the widows, serving the poor, giving our things away, living to meet the needs of others not our own personal wants.
If you are looking for permission to adopt - here it is: God's word says to do it! He does not have one standard for married people and one standard for the single person. Infact you are in a better !!! I hear from many married folks whose heart wants desperately to adopt yet their spouse says, "not a chance". (To which I say: fast and pray for a change in your spouses heart, but don't tell them you are fasting for that reason.)
The other day I was downtown with Dw. Infact, come to think of it, it was our anniversary. We had some time to waste as we were waiting for our dinner reservation time. We went in a little shop and there was a sign for sale. It struck me funny. You have to remember we have been happily married for 31 years (to the day).....but that sign said:
Any woman wanting a husband has obviously never had one
I laughed when I read it. I am a counselor by trade. I have talked to a bazillion ladies who are so unhappy with their husbands. And I have talked to more than my share of women who were once single and thought that happiness would come when they found that perfect man. Only thing is that that perfect man doesn't exist. And today, there are even fewer Godly men in existence.
You can wait for that perfect man and waste valuable years that could have been spent raising precious little ones in desperate need of a mommy. Two parent homes are thought by many to be ideal, but really....who says that has to be? Ever asked an orphan?
"Ummmmm, excuse me. I am single. I want to be a mommy......but I am waiting for a daddy...so in the meantime you sit there and enjoy that orphanage....cause I'm sure you'd rather be one of 400 kids....with no one to kiss your boo-boos or listen to your dreams while I sit over here waiting for Mr. Right."
Yeah, I don't think so.
There are kids all over this world who are longing for someone to say, "You are mine and we're in this together. We may not have a daddy at the moment (or maybe ever), but we will let God be your daddy and I will be your mommy, and by the way He happens to be a really cool daddy, infact He is the only Perfect Daddy."
Here are some kids that you could pose that question to:
Would you rather have just a mommy and not a daddy
or
Would you rather wait, hope, dream that someday a mommy & daddy come for you?
I applaud the courage of some of my sweet bloggy friends like: Carol (in northern Colorado), Sandee, and Dawn.....just a few of the women who have said, "I am not married, but I can be a great mom and I'm not waiting for a husband to do that. I will care for the orphan because that's God's will for all of us!" You guys have my utmost respect - may God pours heaps of blessings on you and your children!!
So maybe you're still not convinced......take time to fast and pray and study scripture.....just for starters take a look at these folks.....
Esther....who God used to protect the Jewish nation from certain impending death....Esther was raised by her uncle...and there is never a mention of an aunt. (Doesn't mean there wasn't an aunt, but she obviously wasn't very important to the story.)
Or how about Moses......drawn out of the water and eventually lived with Pharoah's daughter....never a mention of Pharoah's daughter's husband....(Doesn't mean there wasn't one, but he obviously wasn't very important to the story.)
And on that note....I am 100% convinced that single women should adopt.
I am 100% convinced that it is God's heart.
I am 100% convinced that He will meet every single need each one has as they are in the process and throughout raising each child.
I am 100% convinced that God has a child in mind for each of you who are willing to say, "Okay, I'm going for it!"
I am 100% convinced that the body has been called to partner with singles who adopt to make their road easier.
I am 100% convinced that there are kids all around this world wondering and praying and begging God if there couldn't possibly be a mommy out there for them?
I am 100% that you will make a great mommy!
I am 100% convinced that His plan for you is NOW!
Interesting perspecitve. I remember a few years back believing that single woman should not adopt, but it was based on my own experience on how hard it was rasing three kids as a single parent. I eventually changed my position because I realized that just because it was massively difficult doesn't mean it should never happen. There are too many children in need of a parent to love and guide them. I applaud all people whether married or single who adopt. It is a great way to walk out pure religion
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