" From start to finish, this movie is obviously about God. He is the main character. How is it possible that we live as though it is about us?"
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
it did not come easy
it did not come easy.
i will not lie and say i did not toss and turn about it.
i asked God to make me willing.
i asked God to open my heart.
-
i went.
with my own eyes "i saw".
i saw so much beauty, pain, but all wrapped up in need.
my heart was so open i left wounded.
i wanted to run somewhere and pretend i has not seen such life.
i wanted to forget the stories i heard.
i wanted to forget the eyes that had looked at me with hope.
-
as much as i wanted to.
i chose to not.
-
i thought of the boy i met.
i thought what would be best for him.
i thought of how my heart was just handed to me.
-
i thought about how weak i am.
i thought about how our life was in a good place.
i thought about how how our kids were happy.
i thought about how i was happy.
i thought about all the obstacles.
i thought about the money.
i thought our families would not accept it.
i thought adoption would be too hard.
i thought i might not be a good adoptive mom.
i thought i might not love him like i should.
-
after so much time thinking it became simple.
we have love, we have a house, we are a family, we can be his family.
all my fears subsided.
we will give this one boy a family.
-
i chose to adopt because God opened my heart.
-
i will not lie and say that adoption has been easy.
it has been hard.
we have never had to give so much.
-
BUT.......
this is what loving like Jesus is, right?
sacrifice?
-
what i have read about him was raw and hard and honest.
he loved so much that he literally died so that i could have life.
all i did was invite this little boy to live in our already life.
-
our life was not meant to be easy.
it was not meant to be about us.
that is what the American Dream tries to tell us.
actually life was meant to be shared, to be given.
this crazy hard season is life.
we have never served another more.
this is ministry.
the kind you don't get paid for. the kind people don't see.
-
-Debra " the sunshine chronicles"
i will not lie and say i did not toss and turn about it.
i asked God to make me willing.
i asked God to open my heart.
-
i went.
with my own eyes "i saw".
i saw so much beauty, pain, but all wrapped up in need.
my heart was so open i left wounded.
i wanted to run somewhere and pretend i has not seen such life.
i wanted to forget the stories i heard.
i wanted to forget the eyes that had looked at me with hope.
-
as much as i wanted to.
i chose to not.
-
i thought of the boy i met.
i thought what would be best for him.
i thought of how my heart was just handed to me.
-
i thought about how weak i am.
i thought about how our life was in a good place.
i thought about how how our kids were happy.
i thought about how i was happy.
i thought about all the obstacles.
i thought about the money.
i thought our families would not accept it.
i thought adoption would be too hard.
i thought i might not be a good adoptive mom.
i thought i might not love him like i should.
-
after so much time thinking it became simple.
we have love, we have a house, we are a family, we can be his family.
all my fears subsided.
we will give this one boy a family.
-
i chose to adopt because God opened my heart.
-
i will not lie and say that adoption has been easy.
it has been hard.
we have never had to give so much.
-
BUT.......
this is what loving like Jesus is, right?
sacrifice?
-
what i have read about him was raw and hard and honest.
he loved so much that he literally died so that i could have life.
all i did was invite this little boy to live in our already life.
-
our life was not meant to be easy.
it was not meant to be about us.
that is what the American Dream tries to tell us.
actually life was meant to be shared, to be given.
this crazy hard season is life.
we have never served another more.
this is ministry.
the kind you don't get paid for. the kind people don't see.
-
-Debra " the sunshine chronicles"
Info From the Together for Adoption Conference
- On any given day, half a million abused and neglected children are in foster care in our country,
- More than half of foster children spend at least two years in the foster care system
- On average, children in foster care move through three different foster care placments with little or no warning.
- 118,000 of the children currently in foster care are waiting to be adopted
- 19,000 children "age out" of foster care esch year without a permanent family to support and love them
As a result, the future - for many of these children- is anything but bright :
6. Over a third of foster kids earn neither a high school diploma nor a GED
7.After aging out more than half of the kids are unemlpoyed
8. One third of the kids who age out of foster care have mental health
9. Most are diagnosed with PTSD, alcohol or drug abuse, and major depression
10. One fourth of these kids are in prison within 2yrs of leaving the system
11 Over 1/5 of these kids will become homeless after age 18
How He Loves Me
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
-
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking,
And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way.....
That He loves us,
Oh how He loves us.
- David Crowder Band
Thursday, September 16, 2010
All About Him
When it's all about Him and not about me- I can live on little and give much.
When it's all about Him and not about me- I can adopt many and love more.
When it's all about Him and not about me- I can care less about pleasing others and care much about pleasing Him.
When it's all about Him and not about me- I can love without expecting to be loved back.
When it's all about Him and not about me- I can open my home and my heart regardless of our differences.
When it's all about Him and not about me- I can let go of my plans- knowing His are always better.
When it's all about Him and not about me- I care less about how my hair looks and care lots about how my heart looks.
When it's all about Him and not about me- I can have peace during the unknowns- trusting He does know.
When it's all about Him and not about me- I worry less about the risk and more about just surrendering.
When it's all about Him and not about me- I allow myself to be vulnerable, knowing my experiences can help someone else.
When it's all about Him and not about me- I can be content in my circumstances knowing He allowed them to be.
When it's all about Him and not about me- I can be assured success- regardless of the outcome.
He must become greater; I must become less. John 3:30
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Even When It's Hard....
Often times, besides the cost of adoption, the thing that stops people from saying yes is, you know, because it might be hard.
People might look at you funny.
The way you live their life might be changed or interrupted.
You might have to give up something to make room for another.
And, what if the child God places in your home doesn't look, act, or fit into the image you had hoped for?
And, well, that would be hard.
And hard is something we avoid.
But can I remind you for just a minute how hard the price of our comfort is on them?
I often wonder where Christians came up with the idea that being a Christian resembled anything close to easy?
I often wonder how so often we miss the entire point of what Jesus is all about?
He is so much more than going to church on Sunday, memorizing verses of the Bible, wearing a cross around your neck, and praying at the dinner table.
And can I just tell you something else?
Life is never going to be easy- regardless of how hard we try to put up those walls of protection, regardless of our attempt to make all the right decisions and all the right plans.
And can I remind you that the greatest gifts in life did not come easy either?
SERVE
GIVE
LOVE
make your life COUNT.
but the one thing I can promise you that it will be worth. it. all.
http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/2010/08/often-times-besides-cost-of-adoption.html
People might look at you funny.
The way you live their life might be changed or interrupted.
You might have to give up something to make room for another.
And, what if the child God places in your home doesn't look, act, or fit into the image you had hoped for?
And, well, that would be hard.
And hard is something we avoid.
But can I remind you for just a minute how hard the price of our comfort is on them?
I often wonder where Christians came up with the idea that being a Christian resembled anything close to easy?
I often wonder how so often we miss the entire point of what Jesus is all about?
He is so much more than going to church on Sunday, memorizing verses of the Bible, wearing a cross around your neck, and praying at the dinner table.
And can I just tell you something else?
Life is never going to be easy- regardless of how hard we try to put up those walls of protection, regardless of our attempt to make all the right decisions and all the right plans.
And can I remind you that the greatest gifts in life did not come easy either?
When you claim to know the Lord and you call yourself a Christian you are not signing up for easy. As a matter of fact, I can almost guarantee you that God will call you out of your comfort zone, out of your ordinary existence and into a life that you never imagined for your self.
It will be a life that is all about HIM...a life that that glorifies HIM- not you.
So go ahead and love your God so much that you are willing to get out there, get a little crazy, not worry about what anyone thinks...
Get your hands dirty
SERVE
GIVE
LOVE
make your life COUNT.
You might get hurt, you might be uncomfortable, you might not be popular-you might not even recognize yourself when He is done...
but the one thing I can promise you that it will be worth. it. all.
http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/2010/08/often-times-besides-cost-of-adoption.html
Friday, July 30, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Are you Waking Up?
The Jesus I used to serve......is the one I made up myself.
That's what I realized when I read this book.
Radical- David Platt
This book..... WHOA! That's all I have to say.
No that's not true!!! I have a lot to say! This book ROCKS IT!
I was concerned when I started reading this book. I won't lie. I'm not always a fan of "social justice" books and I was afraid this was another one of those.
IT IS NOT ONE OF THOSE!
This book is, pure and simple, about JESUS! This book is about the gospel. THE WHOLE GOSPEL! This book is a hard look at the truth of Christ and holding up our lives to the light of that truth.
It's not about orphans or poverty or justice- although those are a part of it. It's not about churches and mission trips- but those things are addressed. This book is SOLELY about JESUS and what HIS heart is for those things.
I realize looking back over my years that the view I had of God was so little. I so desperately wanted Jesus to be safe- one dimensional.
Jesus is anything but safe- anything but shallow.
you MAY have gone through a similar process of struggling. Some of you have walked through this entire process with me THROUGH this blog.
For me it went something like this...
I have cared for years- since I was a small child. I cared, I truly did, I just wasn't aware of the magnitude of what was out there beyond the American bubble. I had been on mission trips, lived overseas and yet still I didn't fully get it. Maybe it was because I was young.
Maybe it's because I didn't really want to know.
What I did know with all my heart is that God wanted me to adopt. So we started our process to bring Zoe home and..
...my American dream came crumbling, crashing, hurling toward the ground.
All the walls I had built so carefully to protect myself were gone the instant I loved this little girl.
For me it went something like this...
I have cared for years- since I was a small child. I cared, I truly did, I just wasn't aware of the magnitude of what was out there beyond the American bubble. I had been on mission trips, lived overseas and yet still I didn't fully get it. Maybe it was because I was young.
Maybe it's because I didn't really want to know.
What I did know with all my heart is that God wanted me to adopt. So we started our process to bring Zoe home and..
...my American dream came crumbling, crashing, hurling toward the ground.
All the walls I had built so carefully to protect myself were gone the instant I loved this little girl.
Suddenly the pain, the abuse, the fear, the poverty, the hunger, the crime.... it wasn't removed or far away...
it was MY LITTLE GIRL!
Now I could look at each of those children in pain and feel in my heart that they were somebody's child, somebody's treasure.
it was MY LITTLE GIRL!
Now I could look at each of those children in pain and feel in my heart that they were somebody's child, somebody's treasure.
It all changed. Deep inside my soul I could feel how God felt when He looked at the reality of sin and despair and saw His people doing NOTHING.
Ohhhh.... that moment.... when the scales came off my eyes... when I broke out of the Matrix and simultaneously
LOST MY MIND!
I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't live like everything was OK! I felt LIKE SCREAMING,
"IT'S NOT OK PEOPLE!!!"
Ohhhh.... that moment.... when the scales came off my eyes... when I broke out of the Matrix and simultaneously
LOST MY MIND!
I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't live like everything was OK! I felt LIKE SCREAMING,
"IT'S NOT OK PEOPLE!!!"
I couldn't quit crying for months. I was broken, shattered, in tiny shards on the ground. I was exactly where God wanted me. This was the place ONLY He could rebuild me.
I struggled and fought against God. All at once issues of sovereignty and God's will felt very real and personal. It now seemed issues of theology weren't just theories to be discussed. They were things I DESPERATELY needed to know.
During that year, (anyone who knows me knows it as "The Guatemala Year"), I WOKE UP! It wasn't that I hadn't had it in me all these years. Somewhere in me I had always had this DNA. That was the year God said, "WAKE UP ANGEL!" And I did... I heard Him. I woke up.
What I saw disturbed me, frightened me, angered me, disgusted me.
There were times I wanted to go back to my American dream land. BUT how could I?
You can't go back.
It's a one way ticket down the rabbit hole.
So at first my heart went ORPHANS!! THIS IS ABOUT ORPHANS!! This is what's been missing.... and I was right... but not really. God used orphans to show me the whole picture.
Slowly, I began to see it. Over time rather than seeing the picture I began to see the html, the matrix, the code. Does that make sense??
The comforts of life that had previously appealed to me made me sick to my stomach. Slowly, the things that had terrified me I was willing to dive into for the sake of something much bigger than myself.
Soon it wasn't just about orphans.
It was about glorifying God.
It was about brokenness and sin. It was about OUR adoption. It was about our slavery to sin and our freedom as beloved children of God.
Eventually I realized the power of the radical life God was asking me to lead. Not only was I being the hands and feet of Christ... more significantly God was using this to GLORIFY HIMSELF!
I guess during my "Guatemala Year" I thought maybe being a Christian, sold out for Jesus, meant you were gonna be sad. After all, I was crushed completely.
I am grateful that I was wrong. My awakening was 4 years ago. These past 4 years I have slowly been learning about compassion- walking into pain. I have slowly been learning about the power of joy. I have seen how entering into someone's pain brings joy that CAN NOT be explained except through the power of Christ.
I struggled and fought against God. All at once issues of sovereignty and God's will felt very real and personal. It now seemed issues of theology weren't just theories to be discussed. They were things I DESPERATELY needed to know.
During that year, (anyone who knows me knows it as "The Guatemala Year"), I WOKE UP! It wasn't that I hadn't had it in me all these years. Somewhere in me I had always had this DNA. That was the year God said, "WAKE UP ANGEL!" And I did... I heard Him. I woke up.
What I saw disturbed me, frightened me, angered me, disgusted me.
There were times I wanted to go back to my American dream land. BUT how could I?
You can't go back.
It's a one way ticket down the rabbit hole.
So at first my heart went ORPHANS!! THIS IS ABOUT ORPHANS!! This is what's been missing.... and I was right... but not really. God used orphans to show me the whole picture.
Slowly, I began to see it. Over time rather than seeing the picture I began to see the html, the matrix, the code. Does that make sense??
The comforts of life that had previously appealed to me made me sick to my stomach. Slowly, the things that had terrified me I was willing to dive into for the sake of something much bigger than myself.
Soon it wasn't just about orphans.
It was about glorifying God.
It was about brokenness and sin. It was about OUR adoption. It was about our slavery to sin and our freedom as beloved children of God.
Eventually I realized the power of the radical life God was asking me to lead. Not only was I being the hands and feet of Christ... more significantly God was using this to GLORIFY HIMSELF!
I guess during my "Guatemala Year" I thought maybe being a Christian, sold out for Jesus, meant you were gonna be sad. After all, I was crushed completely.
I am grateful that I was wrong. My awakening was 4 years ago. These past 4 years I have slowly been learning about compassion- walking into pain. I have slowly been learning about the power of joy. I have seen how entering into someone's pain brings joy that CAN NOT be explained except through the power of Christ.
There is NOTHING I do that brings me greater joy than obedience to my Father.
Our Father is a defender of widows, orphans and strangers.
He is not SAFE!
He is GOOD!
If you hear His voice He WILL ask you to do things that are not comfortable, are not rational, are not the norm in America.
If your God never asks you to do anything that stretches you, scares you, makes you EXTREMELY uncomfortable, I would read the gospels- study Jesus- and ask,
"Who IS my God?"
Are we really serving the God of the Bible or one we have created?
If we TRULY LISTEN and obey like little children, where will He lead us?
If you have woken up, are waking up, want to wake up.... I beg you to read this book.
If you have woken up, are waking up, want to wake up.... I beg you to read this book.
Are you waking up?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
it's not about me
"The message of Christianity is that God loves me." Or someone might say, "The message of Christianity is that God loves me enough to send his Son, Jesus, to die for me."
As wonderful as this sentiment sounds, is it biblical? Isn't it incomplete, based on what we have seen in the Bible? "God loves me" is not the essence of biblical Christianity. Because if "God loves me" is the message of Christianity, then who is the object of Christianity?
God loves me.
Me.
Christianity's object is me.
Therefore, when I look for a church, I look for music that best fits me and the programs that best cater to me and my family. When I make plans for my life and career, it is about what works best for me and my family. When I consider the house I will live in, the care I will drive, the clothes I will wear, the way I will live, I will choose according to what is best for me. This is the version of Christianity that largely prevails in our culture.
But it is not biblical Christianity.
The message of the biblical Christianity is not "God loves me, period," as if we were the object of our own faith. The message of biblical Christianity is "God loves me so that I might make him - his ways, his salvation, his glory, and his greatness - known among all nations." Now God is the object of our faith, and Christianity centers around him. We are not the end of the gospel; God is.
- quote from "Radical" by David Platt
As wonderful as this sentiment sounds, is it biblical? Isn't it incomplete, based on what we have seen in the Bible? "God loves me" is not the essence of biblical Christianity. Because if "God loves me" is the message of Christianity, then who is the object of Christianity?
God loves me.
Me.
Christianity's object is me.
Therefore, when I look for a church, I look for music that best fits me and the programs that best cater to me and my family. When I make plans for my life and career, it is about what works best for me and my family. When I consider the house I will live in, the care I will drive, the clothes I will wear, the way I will live, I will choose according to what is best for me. This is the version of Christianity that largely prevails in our culture.
But it is not biblical Christianity.
The message of the biblical Christianity is not "God loves me, period," as if we were the object of our own faith. The message of biblical Christianity is "God loves me so that I might make him - his ways, his salvation, his glory, and his greatness - known among all nations." Now God is the object of our faith, and Christianity centers around him. We are not the end of the gospel; God is.
- quote from "Radical" by David Platt
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Doubt
“Christianity places a premium on the absolute truthfulness and trustworthiness of God, so understanding doubt is extremely important to a Christian. Of course, faith is much more than the absence of doubt, but to understand doubt is to have a key to a quiet heart and a quiet mind. Anyone who believes anything will automatically know something about doubt. But the person who knows why he believes is also in a position to discover why he doubts. The Christian should be such a person. Not only does a Christian believe, he is a person who ‘thinks in believing and believes in thinking,’ as Augustine expressed it. The world of Christian faith is not a fairy-tale, make-believe world, question-free and problem-proof, but a world where doubt is never far from faith's shoulder. Consequently, a healthy understanding of doubt should go hand in hand with a healthy understanding of faith. We ourselves are called in question if we have no answer to doubt. If we constantly doubt what we believe and always believe-yet-doubt, we will be in danger of undermining our personal integrity, if not our stability. But if ours is an examined faith, we should be unafraid to doubt. If doubt is eventually justified, we were believing what clearly was not worth believing. But if doubt is answered, our faith has grown stronger still. It knows God more certainly and it can enjoy God more deeply.” (pp. 15-16).
“Problems strike us all differently. What is trivial to one person may raise titanic questions for someone else. Some people face doubt only if they find no answer; others trigger doubts merely by raising questions. What puzzles a philosopher and taxes his mind to distraction may look completely irrelevant or quite obvious to a businessman. The point is not to judge who is right, but to meet and resolve whatever doubt is a problem to a particular person” (p. 32).No matter what level of doubt we face, living in constant doubt is not where we want to live our lives. But neither should be automatically feel guilty and sinful for all doubting thoughts. The reality is that doubt is inevitable in the Christian life. Guinness writes, “In the same way assurance of faith depends on our grasp of God and his faithfulness and not on a mastery of all the doubts that are ever likely to assail us. Otherwise faith could never be assured while one last doubt remained” (p. 33).
“What is more, faith, like health, is best maintained by growth, nourishment and exercise and not by fighting sickness. Sickness may be the absence of health, but health is more than the absence of sickness, so prevention is better than cure. Equally, faith grows and flourishes when it is well nourished and exercised, so the best way to resist doubt is to build up faith rather than simply to fight against doubt” (pp. 33-34).
In Two Minds: The Dilemma of Doubt and How to Resolve It by Os Guinness
http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/Blog/category/Doubt.aspx
“Problems strike us all differently. What is trivial to one person may raise titanic questions for someone else. Some people face doubt only if they find no answer; others trigger doubts merely by raising questions. What puzzles a philosopher and taxes his mind to distraction may look completely irrelevant or quite obvious to a businessman. The point is not to judge who is right, but to meet and resolve whatever doubt is a problem to a particular person” (p. 32).No matter what level of doubt we face, living in constant doubt is not where we want to live our lives. But neither should be automatically feel guilty and sinful for all doubting thoughts. The reality is that doubt is inevitable in the Christian life. Guinness writes, “In the same way assurance of faith depends on our grasp of God and his faithfulness and not on a mastery of all the doubts that are ever likely to assail us. Otherwise faith could never be assured while one last doubt remained” (p. 33).
“What is more, faith, like health, is best maintained by growth, nourishment and exercise and not by fighting sickness. Sickness may be the absence of health, but health is more than the absence of sickness, so prevention is better than cure. Equally, faith grows and flourishes when it is well nourished and exercised, so the best way to resist doubt is to build up faith rather than simply to fight against doubt” (pp. 33-34).
In Two Minds: The Dilemma of Doubt and How to Resolve It by Os Guinness
http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/Blog/category/Doubt.aspx
Parenting, Identifying, and Disciplining
"Son, this is not a foreign topic to your dad. We are fellow sinners both in need of a savior.”
So I want to do two things. I want to try to introduce my son to a study that isn’t correction specific to an occasion. I want to study the heart, I want to study anger, I want to study idolatry, unrelated to an occasion where I am bringing discipline, so that the study hopefully can have the most effect. I want to engage in a study from Scripture. I want to choose age-appropriate material. I want to choose appropriate passages. And then my study with my son is supplemented by stories from my life, because I do the same thing. I don’t cry anymore like a child but I know how to cry in adult ways. I want my child to know that no matter what the category, I can identify.
So let’s say for my son fear of man would be a category. “Well, your dad is just as familiar with that, son, and here are the ways fear of man will play out in my life today.” Not “Here are the ways fear of man played out when I was 16.” No—“Here are the ways fear of man is a real temptation to your father this week.” I think by humbling myself, I hope I make it easier for him to receive from me, so that when I say “Listen,” it’s not “Listen to your self-righteous father who is angry at you because he doesn’t understand why it requires this kind of attention to help you to see how stupid a video game is.”
It is too easy for me to view my son’s form of idolatry as childish, but in essence, at root, there is no difference between our idolatries. His expression is consistent with a 12 year old, mine is consistent with a 56 year old, but in essence it’s no different. Therefore I must make sure my heart is softened by my own sinful tendencies. I don’t want the study to be punitive, I don’t want it to be (if possible) connected or related to discipline, because I think that can make it more difficult for a child to comprehend and to be convinced I have their best interest at heart. I want to supplement it with my own stories.
At 12 years old I would want to start leaving your son with questions to consider rather than pronouncements. But from 12 years old on up, it is far more complicated than when they are younger. For a toddler, discipline is pretty simple. You are not having to work through heart issues. It is a blatantly ethical world, at that age, nothing but right/wrong, yes/no. But as they get older you want to draw your child in and give him an opportunity to think about his own heart, think about it in relation to material, think about it in relation to Scripture, think about it with time for the Spirit to possibly convict.
You are not bringing every conversation to a conclusion that he must agree with. With your restrictions, you want to explain why you are doing what you are doing. Restrictions are important. We are fully for restrictions as long as the purpose is explained—so your child doesn’t think this is just punitive action we are taking in your life without explanation, without a why, without a purpose. We want to create an alternative. We want to anticipate this temptation, anticipate this restriction and [ask] what alternative can we present to wean our child from that particular form of idolatry.
Helping our children identify idols is hard work. Your son may grow out of his love for video games, but he will not grow out of the idol factory in his heart. So as parents, we need the Lord’s help, and we can be confident that he will lead and guide us as we serve and lead our children with the gospel.
http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/Blog/post/Video-Games-Idols-and-Your-Childs-Heart.aspx
So I want to do two things. I want to try to introduce my son to a study that isn’t correction specific to an occasion. I want to study the heart, I want to study anger, I want to study idolatry, unrelated to an occasion where I am bringing discipline, so that the study hopefully can have the most effect. I want to engage in a study from Scripture. I want to choose age-appropriate material. I want to choose appropriate passages. And then my study with my son is supplemented by stories from my life, because I do the same thing. I don’t cry anymore like a child but I know how to cry in adult ways. I want my child to know that no matter what the category, I can identify.
So let’s say for my son fear of man would be a category. “Well, your dad is just as familiar with that, son, and here are the ways fear of man will play out in my life today.” Not “Here are the ways fear of man played out when I was 16.” No—“Here are the ways fear of man is a real temptation to your father this week.” I think by humbling myself, I hope I make it easier for him to receive from me, so that when I say “Listen,” it’s not “Listen to your self-righteous father who is angry at you because he doesn’t understand why it requires this kind of attention to help you to see how stupid a video game is.”
It is too easy for me to view my son’s form of idolatry as childish, but in essence, at root, there is no difference between our idolatries. His expression is consistent with a 12 year old, mine is consistent with a 56 year old, but in essence it’s no different. Therefore I must make sure my heart is softened by my own sinful tendencies. I don’t want the study to be punitive, I don’t want it to be (if possible) connected or related to discipline, because I think that can make it more difficult for a child to comprehend and to be convinced I have their best interest at heart. I want to supplement it with my own stories.
At 12 years old I would want to start leaving your son with questions to consider rather than pronouncements. But from 12 years old on up, it is far more complicated than when they are younger. For a toddler, discipline is pretty simple. You are not having to work through heart issues. It is a blatantly ethical world, at that age, nothing but right/wrong, yes/no. But as they get older you want to draw your child in and give him an opportunity to think about his own heart, think about it in relation to material, think about it in relation to Scripture, think about it with time for the Spirit to possibly convict.
You are not bringing every conversation to a conclusion that he must agree with. With your restrictions, you want to explain why you are doing what you are doing. Restrictions are important. We are fully for restrictions as long as the purpose is explained—so your child doesn’t think this is just punitive action we are taking in your life without explanation, without a why, without a purpose. We want to create an alternative. We want to anticipate this temptation, anticipate this restriction and [ask] what alternative can we present to wean our child from that particular form of idolatry.
Helping our children identify idols is hard work. Your son may grow out of his love for video games, but he will not grow out of the idol factory in his heart. So as parents, we need the Lord’s help, and we can be confident that he will lead and guide us as we serve and lead our children with the gospel.
http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/Blog/post/Video-Games-Idols-and-Your-Childs-Heart.aspx
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Legacy
“Resolution One: I will live for God. Resolution Two: If no one else does, I still will.”
-Jonathan Edwards
"Real pain can alone cure us of imaginary ills."
- Jonathan Edwards
Jonathan Edwards was born in 1703 in East Windsor, Connecticut. He attended Yale University at age 13 and later went on to serve as president of the college of New Jersey (now Princeton). When he was just 20 years old he wrote a list of personal resolutions. Among them was "ask myself, at the end of every day… wherein I could possibly, in any respect, have done better."
In no area was Edwards' resolve stronger than in his role as a father. Edwards and his wife Sarah had eleven children. Despite a rigorous work schedule that included rising as early as 4:30 a.m. to read and write in his library, extensive travels, and endless administrative meetings, he always made time for his children. Indeed, he committed to spending at least one hour a day with them. And what if he missed a day because he was traveling? He diligently made up the hour when he returned.
Numerous books have been written about Edwards' life, his work, and influence on American history and his powerful professional legacy. But the legacy that Edwards would probably be most proud of is his legacy as a father.The scholar Benjamin B. Warfield of Princeton has charted the 1,394 known descendents of Edwards. What he found was an incredible testament to Jonathan Edwards. Of his known descendents there were 13 college presidents, 65 college professors, 30 judges, 100 lawyers, 60 physicians, 75 army and navy officers, 100 pastors, 60 authors of prominence, 3 United States senators, 80 public servants in other capacities including governors and ministers to foreign countries, and one vice-president of the United States.
The story of Jonathan Edwards is an example of what some sociologists call the "five-generation rule." How a parent raises their child – the love they give, the values they teach, the emotional environment they offer, the education they provide – influences not only their child but the four generations to follow. What fathers do, in other words, will reach through the next five generations. The example of Jonathan Edwards shows just how rich that legacy can be.
In no area was Edwards' resolve stronger than in his role as a father. Edwards and his wife Sarah had eleven children. Despite a rigorous work schedule that included rising as early as 4:30 a.m. to read and write in his library, extensive travels, and endless administrative meetings, he always made time for his children. Indeed, he committed to spending at least one hour a day with them. And what if he missed a day because he was traveling? He diligently made up the hour when he returned.
Numerous books have been written about Edwards' life, his work, and influence on American history and his powerful professional legacy. But the legacy that Edwards would probably be most proud of is his legacy as a father.The scholar Benjamin B. Warfield of Princeton has charted the 1,394 known descendents of Edwards. What he found was an incredible testament to Jonathan Edwards. Of his known descendents there were 13 college presidents, 65 college professors, 30 judges, 100 lawyers, 60 physicians, 75 army and navy officers, 100 pastors, 60 authors of prominence, 3 United States senators, 80 public servants in other capacities including governors and ministers to foreign countries, and one vice-president of the United States.
The story of Jonathan Edwards is an example of what some sociologists call the "five-generation rule." How a parent raises their child – the love they give, the values they teach, the emotional environment they offer, the education they provide – influences not only their child but the four generations to follow. What fathers do, in other words, will reach through the next five generations. The example of Jonathan Edwards shows just how rich that legacy can be.
I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. - C. S. Lewis
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. - C. S. Lewissingleness
singleness [part 2]: the idol revealed...
continued from the post ... singleness:how do i feel about it...i have and serve a marriage idol. i have held marriage as in idol in my life. it is something that we are trained to want from the time we are young. i think it starts with disney. :) to be happy and to live a fulfilling life, you grow up and get married. this is how it works and this is the goal. for as long as i can remember, this has been on my radar. but as i have gotten older, rather than just hoping for it, i have found myself grasping for it. questioning why the lord has not brought it to me yet and then rather than trusting him, i resort to my own solutions. "be more approachable." "dress this way." "be skinnier." "be funnier." "you are too picky." "put yourself out there more." etc. and when marriage didn't happen, i would just move on to the next solution becoming more and more enslaved to my idol.now, because being discontent with god is a sin and because i wanted people to think i was fine, i would cover this idol with spiritual things and twist verses like:
"delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." psalm 37:4"to the unmarried and the widows i say that it is good for them to remain single as i am. but if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 corinthians 7:8-9i would try to make god into my genie or force him into letting me marry. of course, i completely believe that these verses are true, and i believe that my god wants to give me good things and bless me, but he was also quick to show me what was wrong with my motives. if i am completely honest, most of the time, i am not delighting in the lord and who he is (like i was proclaiming). rather i am delighting myself in the idea of godly marriage and using him to get it. though i would never admit it, my desire to be married exceeded my desire for the lord and i held marriage as the end all. i would be happier or more fulfilled if only i had that. and that, my friends, is called idolatry. and as far as that verse about burning with passion, well the lord basically told me that through his spirit i have self-control, so i needed to quit making excuses.i have faked being content with singleness many times. there have been some times in life where i have been close, but i have never been able to fully let go and believe that i was going to be okay, until recently. so to fake this contentment, i have explained it away. i have made excuses for the lord keeping me single for quite some time. i would say things like, "i am so glad the lord has me single right now so i can do this ministry or these things. i would not be able to if i was married." this is completely true, but i was just using them to cover my greatest fear. i did not really believe them and i was for sure not able to rejoice in the gift of singleness. occasionally, i even allowed myself to think i was somehow better because i was single. i had to endure more than those that were married. i basically was just making a martyr of myself.this has helped hold me over and at times i actually meant it, but the truth is, i was far from content. i found comfort in these spiritual excuses. i needed something to make myself feel better as my friends and women i walked with or even discipled got married and and started having kids. but clearly this was not the answer to my problem. though i have used these techniques for years, i finally gave in and started examining this great fear of mine. why was i so terrified?
singleness [part 3]: the deep rooted fears...
continued from the post... singleness]: the idol revealed...as i have learned to trust the lord more, i finally became okay with examining why i was so afraid of being single. there are two main fears that lie behind my inability to be content with singleness.fear
# 1: something is wrong with methere has to be a reason i am not married, so something must be wrong with me. perhaps i am just not ready or i am too independent. socially awkward. unattractive. too strong. you name it, it has crossed my mind. this lie that something is wrong with me is self-imposed but fed quite regularly by the enemy and compounded with promised solutions in the world. some times it can be fed by those around me who treat me differently because i am not married and cannot understand their life. sometimes, i feel like just a young kid waiting to grow up and be an adult. my friends have all spun the wheel in the game of life successfully and i am still one pink peg in the station wagon waiting for my turn. to add even more doubt, there are others who love me but who feel sorry for me and want to know why i am not married. i begin to ask that same question and my only answer is that something has got to be wrong with me. this of course is not true.the correct answer to why i am not married is that god has not written this as part of my plan. but that is too scary and out of my control because what if is never part of my story?????? so i will refuse to believe it and come up with tangible solutions that i can do something about. but over the last few months the lord has been chipping away at this fear. i had to admit it first and quit trying to fix it on my own. he has shown me that in him, i lack no good thing! that his spirit resides in me. that though i have flaws and many things to work on, he is refining me. that i am fully loved and accepted by him, not because he feels sorry for me, but because he has chosen me! i am his beloved!! and for the first time in my life, i found that more satisfying that the affirmation of another person. that i was normal, a sinner, but not some weird person beyond being loved. fear
#2: i am missing something huge in life...as i continued searching through my fears, i realized that i still held marriage as some magical end all in life. that if i did not get married i was going to miss out on something so big that it would be detrimental to me and my life experience. that my desires would never be fulfilled and i would be in want for the rest of my single/miserable existence. yes, of course i will miss out on certain experiences if i never get married , but the lord has been faithful to show me that he will satisfy all of my desires, even physical desires. i had heard this before, but i always thought the people that said it were weirdos. however, i have actually found it to be true. when i trust in him, delight in him, and fear him, i will lack no good thing and he will indeed satisfy me.
the thing that makes this hard to believe is that he does not always satisfy my desires with what i want or in the way i want. since things do not go down as i thought they would, i panic and fear that god will not come through and i will always be lacking something. i forget the scriptures and the promises he has made to me in his word. i refuse to believe them because they are not coming true the way i want or in a way i can see.so the root of this fear, is that i do not believe in my heart that the lord will take care of me and that he is indeed enough apart from his blessings. that he loves me, that he can satisfy my desires, etc. so rather than trusting, i hold onto this idea of marriage as the end all - half looking for god to satisfy my desires and half looking and hoping they will be satisfied in a man. all of this is of course under the mask of delighting myself in the lord.
singleness [part 4]: the fight...
since i have begun to let go of my marriage idol, i have really begun to experience this abundant life. it is like a weight has been lifted. i am not constantly analyzing things or having to worry about putting myself out there. i don't have to worry about saying the exact right thing to get his attention. i trust that if the lord has someone for me, he has written how it will come about and it does not depend on me doing everything right. this has been a huge burden lifted!so if i am content with being single, am i called to be single for the rest of my life? maybe. but as i said in my first post on this matter, i have not discerned a direct call to be single from god for the rest of my life. he has not revealed that to me. i still think guys are cute and would like to be married to one. but through this journey, i have felt him calling me to be content with where he has me and quit lusting for something else. more than being content with being single, i have felt him calling me to be content with him. anything that i have to say "i love you lord, but i really need _______ to be happy and fulfilled," is an idol. be it marriage, money, kids, sex, a job, or whatever. i have heard many women say that even once you are married, the lack of contentment does not go away, it just changes shape. it takes on the form of little humans or big houses. so more than worrying about the semantics of being called to be single, i long to be content with my savior and my god. marriage, kids, a house, a job, etc none of them are the end all in life - MY LORD IS!
http://thisfastpacedlife.blogspot.com/2010_01_01_archive.html
continued from the post ... singleness:how do i feel about it...i have and serve a marriage idol. i have held marriage as in idol in my life. it is something that we are trained to want from the time we are young. i think it starts with disney. :) to be happy and to live a fulfilling life, you grow up and get married. this is how it works and this is the goal. for as long as i can remember, this has been on my radar. but as i have gotten older, rather than just hoping for it, i have found myself grasping for it. questioning why the lord has not brought it to me yet and then rather than trusting him, i resort to my own solutions. "be more approachable." "dress this way." "be skinnier." "be funnier." "you are too picky." "put yourself out there more." etc. and when marriage didn't happen, i would just move on to the next solution becoming more and more enslaved to my idol.now, because being discontent with god is a sin and because i wanted people to think i was fine, i would cover this idol with spiritual things and twist verses like:
"delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." psalm 37:4"to the unmarried and the widows i say that it is good for them to remain single as i am. but if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 corinthians 7:8-9i would try to make god into my genie or force him into letting me marry. of course, i completely believe that these verses are true, and i believe that my god wants to give me good things and bless me, but he was also quick to show me what was wrong with my motives. if i am completely honest, most of the time, i am not delighting in the lord and who he is (like i was proclaiming). rather i am delighting myself in the idea of godly marriage and using him to get it. though i would never admit it, my desire to be married exceeded my desire for the lord and i held marriage as the end all. i would be happier or more fulfilled if only i had that. and that, my friends, is called idolatry. and as far as that verse about burning with passion, well the lord basically told me that through his spirit i have self-control, so i needed to quit making excuses.i have faked being content with singleness many times. there have been some times in life where i have been close, but i have never been able to fully let go and believe that i was going to be okay, until recently. so to fake this contentment, i have explained it away. i have made excuses for the lord keeping me single for quite some time. i would say things like, "i am so glad the lord has me single right now so i can do this ministry or these things. i would not be able to if i was married." this is completely true, but i was just using them to cover my greatest fear. i did not really believe them and i was for sure not able to rejoice in the gift of singleness. occasionally, i even allowed myself to think i was somehow better because i was single. i had to endure more than those that were married. i basically was just making a martyr of myself.this has helped hold me over and at times i actually meant it, but the truth is, i was far from content. i found comfort in these spiritual excuses. i needed something to make myself feel better as my friends and women i walked with or even discipled got married and and started having kids. but clearly this was not the answer to my problem. though i have used these techniques for years, i finally gave in and started examining this great fear of mine. why was i so terrified?
singleness [part 3]: the deep rooted fears...
continued from the post... singleness]: the idol revealed...as i have learned to trust the lord more, i finally became okay with examining why i was so afraid of being single. there are two main fears that lie behind my inability to be content with singleness.fear
# 1: something is wrong with methere has to be a reason i am not married, so something must be wrong with me. perhaps i am just not ready or i am too independent. socially awkward. unattractive. too strong. you name it, it has crossed my mind. this lie that something is wrong with me is self-imposed but fed quite regularly by the enemy and compounded with promised solutions in the world. some times it can be fed by those around me who treat me differently because i am not married and cannot understand their life. sometimes, i feel like just a young kid waiting to grow up and be an adult. my friends have all spun the wheel in the game of life successfully and i am still one pink peg in the station wagon waiting for my turn. to add even more doubt, there are others who love me but who feel sorry for me and want to know why i am not married. i begin to ask that same question and my only answer is that something has got to be wrong with me. this of course is not true.the correct answer to why i am not married is that god has not written this as part of my plan. but that is too scary and out of my control because what if is never part of my story?????? so i will refuse to believe it and come up with tangible solutions that i can do something about. but over the last few months the lord has been chipping away at this fear. i had to admit it first and quit trying to fix it on my own. he has shown me that in him, i lack no good thing! that his spirit resides in me. that though i have flaws and many things to work on, he is refining me. that i am fully loved and accepted by him, not because he feels sorry for me, but because he has chosen me! i am his beloved!! and for the first time in my life, i found that more satisfying that the affirmation of another person. that i was normal, a sinner, but not some weird person beyond being loved. fear
#2: i am missing something huge in life...as i continued searching through my fears, i realized that i still held marriage as some magical end all in life. that if i did not get married i was going to miss out on something so big that it would be detrimental to me and my life experience. that my desires would never be fulfilled and i would be in want for the rest of my single/miserable existence. yes, of course i will miss out on certain experiences if i never get married , but the lord has been faithful to show me that he will satisfy all of my desires, even physical desires. i had heard this before, but i always thought the people that said it were weirdos. however, i have actually found it to be true. when i trust in him, delight in him, and fear him, i will lack no good thing and he will indeed satisfy me.
the thing that makes this hard to believe is that he does not always satisfy my desires with what i want or in the way i want. since things do not go down as i thought they would, i panic and fear that god will not come through and i will always be lacking something. i forget the scriptures and the promises he has made to me in his word. i refuse to believe them because they are not coming true the way i want or in a way i can see.so the root of this fear, is that i do not believe in my heart that the lord will take care of me and that he is indeed enough apart from his blessings. that he loves me, that he can satisfy my desires, etc. so rather than trusting, i hold onto this idea of marriage as the end all - half looking for god to satisfy my desires and half looking and hoping they will be satisfied in a man. all of this is of course under the mask of delighting myself in the lord.
singleness [part 4]: the fight...
since i have begun to let go of my marriage idol, i have really begun to experience this abundant life. it is like a weight has been lifted. i am not constantly analyzing things or having to worry about putting myself out there. i don't have to worry about saying the exact right thing to get his attention. i trust that if the lord has someone for me, he has written how it will come about and it does not depend on me doing everything right. this has been a huge burden lifted!so if i am content with being single, am i called to be single for the rest of my life? maybe. but as i said in my first post on this matter, i have not discerned a direct call to be single from god for the rest of my life. he has not revealed that to me. i still think guys are cute and would like to be married to one. but through this journey, i have felt him calling me to be content with where he has me and quit lusting for something else. more than being content with being single, i have felt him calling me to be content with him. anything that i have to say "i love you lord, but i really need _______ to be happy and fulfilled," is an idol. be it marriage, money, kids, sex, a job, or whatever. i have heard many women say that even once you are married, the lack of contentment does not go away, it just changes shape. it takes on the form of little humans or big houses. so more than worrying about the semantics of being called to be single, i long to be content with my savior and my god. marriage, kids, a house, a job, etc none of them are the end all in life - MY LORD IS!
http://thisfastpacedlife.blogspot.com/2010_01_01_archive.html
When Jesus Isn’t Enough
When I sat in his closet-sized home in the middle of Africa, I couldn’t take my eyes off the pathetic interior or ignore the dripping rain on my head.
I tried to not to imagine the “community toilet” he shared with neighbors adjoined by paper-thin walls or how far he walked each way to school everyday, in the dark, both ways.
The peace on his face was undeniable and the light that radiated from his eyes filled the dark room of his orphan-led home.
I didn’t understand how he could be so content with so little. And I couldn’t stop the question, “Why are you so happy? Why aren’t you afraid?”
He looked at me as if I’d missed it entirely and said, “Because I have Jesus.”
He didn’t say anything else. It was a heavy statement. It was enough.
He was right, I had missed it. Entirely.
I equate Jesus to comfort and blessings. And when I sat in a hovel, a young boy called home, void of every comfort, I was envious of his contentment.
I returned to a lifestyle with every blessing, only wanting more.
I add Jesus like salt and pepper to a tasteless dish.
He isn’t the main course, just an extra on the side.
Jesus isn’t enough for me.
I think about my happiness that is clouded with every storm that blows into my life. I think about my happiness that is contingent upon what I have versus what I want. I think about my happiness and the strings I attach to it.
I think about a young boy who taught me more about Jesus and myself in a single sentence than my entire Bible College degree and 37 years of living.
One of the great lessons I learned in Africa: When Jesus isn’t enough, something is wrong.
I’m on a quest to make it all about Jesus. It’s easy surrounded by the comforts of my American life to melt back into the The American Way-bigger is better, more is what matters.
This is a painful journey, but more than anything, I want Him to be enough for me.
Is Jesus enough for you?
If your happiness, like mine, is determined by how much or how little you have or the next exciting thing in your life, can I gently remind you to return to Him?
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
I Don't Want My Children to be Happy
( a letter from a mother to her children)
Dear Shepherd, Sissy, Maggie and Ikey,
Recently we were told by people whom we love and respect why they oppose our plans to adopt. One of the reasons given was that we would not be able to pay for your college education.
It's true.
You all have college funds - college funds which recently took a terrible hit - but "they" say that by the time you're 18, college will cost anywhere between $200,000 to half a million dollars each. You might as well know now, we won't be covering that. I'm telling you now, babies.
The people said that the day would come when you would look at us with resentment because you had to apply for school loans while many of your friends got a free ride from their parents.
Maybe you will. Maybe you'll resent us. I really hope not. But maybe I should tell y'all now why your dad and I have decided to do what we are doing.
I know you're going to think I am going off topic (I do that a lot) but several years I saw a story on a TV show about how the latest trend was for parents to give their daughters boob jobs for high school graduation (I don't know what they gave their sons.) When interviewing one of the moms, she said, "I just want my daughter to be happy." And as I tossed a throw pillow at the television, this really huge thought occurred to me: I don't want my children to be happy.
My goal as your mom is not your happiness, sugars. In fact, I spend at least half my day making you unhappy. If I had a nickle for every tear that falls in this home on a daily basis, we wouldn't need to worry about college tuition at all.
Happiness is fleeting, sweet babies. That means it doesn't last. It's a quick feeling that comes from a funny movie or a heart shaped lollipop or a really good birthday present. It's great. I love to be happy. But happiness is a reaction that is based on our surroundings. And our surroundings are so very rarely under our control. Even when - especially when - we think they are. So no, I absolutely don't want you to spend your life chasing something that has so little to do with your own abilities. You'll just be constantly frustrated.
There are two things I desire for you, precious loves. There are two things that I spend most of my time as a mother trying cultivate in you. Happiness ain't one of them. (This means, sorry, no boob jobs for you.)
The first is, I want you to be content. Being content is so much different from being happy. Being content is not based on your surroundings. Being content comes from within. Contentment is a spirit of gratitude. It's the choice you make to either be thankful for the things you do have, or to whine about the things you don't have.
Being content and grateful leads to consistent joy.
As you know, because I've told you lots of times, Paul talked about being content. Paul said that he had "learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." And Paul was in some rotten situations, kiddos, really rotten.
How could Paul be content whether he was in prison or if his life was literally a shipwreck? Because Paul was constantly seeking to be in the will of God instead of his own, was constantly sacrificing his own comfort for the sake of the gospel, and was constantly being confirmed, strengthened, and blessed by God because of his obedience. He was given a supernatural power - that means something kind of like magic, God magic - to do things that most other humans could not do. And guess what? The bible tells us (in Ephesians 1) that God will give you the exact same power! If you want it!
Which leads me to my second desire for y'all.
I don't want you to be happy. I want you to be holy. That means, I want you to seek that God-power to make you content. I want you to want the Kingdom of God more than your own kingdom. And that's hard, babies, that is so hard. And that usually means passing up a lot of what the world considers happiness. But it means that you will achieve blessings directly from God that most of the world never dreams of because they are too occupied with the achieving the perfect birthday present!
This means you may be poor, 'in want' as Paul said, and that's okay. It will never, ever be okay with the world for you to be poor. So you'll be up against the world. But not your dad and me, loves, because it was never our goal for you to be wealthy - at least not in the way that the world considers wealthy.
Darlings, we love you so much. You will never even grasp how much we love you until you have children of your own, and then you'll get it, and then you'll apologize for the ways you treated us ;) But our goal is not to please you. Our goal is to please our Heavenly Father. And nowhere in the bible does the Lord command that we save our money to send our kids to college.
But the Lord does command us to care for the orphan around fifty times. He does tell us to care for the poor around 300 times. He does tell us that when we care for the neediest, we are caring for Jesus Himself. And in chapter six of the book of Matthew, He tells us to seek His kingdom first, and let Him worry about the rest, like college tuition. Because it's all His anyway.
They said that one day y'all would resent us for using 'your' college money to go and get your sister out of an orphanage in Ethiopia and bring her home to you.
But I know my babies. Even at your tender ages, I know your hearts, and I have already seen you weep for the least of these. I know the prayers I offer up to God that He and not the world would shape the desires of your hearts. I am trusting Him to answer those prayers.
So, sugarbears - I just don't believe those people.
Love,Mommy
http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-dont-want-my-children-to-be-happy.html
Dear Shepherd, Sissy, Maggie and Ikey,
Recently we were told by people whom we love and respect why they oppose our plans to adopt. One of the reasons given was that we would not be able to pay for your college education.
It's true.
You all have college funds - college funds which recently took a terrible hit - but "they" say that by the time you're 18, college will cost anywhere between $200,000 to half a million dollars each. You might as well know now, we won't be covering that. I'm telling you now, babies.
The people said that the day would come when you would look at us with resentment because you had to apply for school loans while many of your friends got a free ride from their parents.
Maybe you will. Maybe you'll resent us. I really hope not. But maybe I should tell y'all now why your dad and I have decided to do what we are doing.
I know you're going to think I am going off topic (I do that a lot) but several years I saw a story on a TV show about how the latest trend was for parents to give their daughters boob jobs for high school graduation (I don't know what they gave their sons.) When interviewing one of the moms, she said, "I just want my daughter to be happy." And as I tossed a throw pillow at the television, this really huge thought occurred to me: I don't want my children to be happy.
My goal as your mom is not your happiness, sugars. In fact, I spend at least half my day making you unhappy. If I had a nickle for every tear that falls in this home on a daily basis, we wouldn't need to worry about college tuition at all.
Happiness is fleeting, sweet babies. That means it doesn't last. It's a quick feeling that comes from a funny movie or a heart shaped lollipop or a really good birthday present. It's great. I love to be happy. But happiness is a reaction that is based on our surroundings. And our surroundings are so very rarely under our control. Even when - especially when - we think they are. So no, I absolutely don't want you to spend your life chasing something that has so little to do with your own abilities. You'll just be constantly frustrated.
There are two things I desire for you, precious loves. There are two things that I spend most of my time as a mother trying cultivate in you. Happiness ain't one of them. (This means, sorry, no boob jobs for you.)
The first is, I want you to be content. Being content is so much different from being happy. Being content is not based on your surroundings. Being content comes from within. Contentment is a spirit of gratitude. It's the choice you make to either be thankful for the things you do have, or to whine about the things you don't have.
Being content and grateful leads to consistent joy.
As you know, because I've told you lots of times, Paul talked about being content. Paul said that he had "learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." And Paul was in some rotten situations, kiddos, really rotten.
How could Paul be content whether he was in prison or if his life was literally a shipwreck? Because Paul was constantly seeking to be in the will of God instead of his own, was constantly sacrificing his own comfort for the sake of the gospel, and was constantly being confirmed, strengthened, and blessed by God because of his obedience. He was given a supernatural power - that means something kind of like magic, God magic - to do things that most other humans could not do. And guess what? The bible tells us (in Ephesians 1) that God will give you the exact same power! If you want it!
Which leads me to my second desire for y'all.
I don't want you to be happy. I want you to be holy. That means, I want you to seek that God-power to make you content. I want you to want the Kingdom of God more than your own kingdom. And that's hard, babies, that is so hard. And that usually means passing up a lot of what the world considers happiness. But it means that you will achieve blessings directly from God that most of the world never dreams of because they are too occupied with the achieving the perfect birthday present!
This means you may be poor, 'in want' as Paul said, and that's okay. It will never, ever be okay with the world for you to be poor. So you'll be up against the world. But not your dad and me, loves, because it was never our goal for you to be wealthy - at least not in the way that the world considers wealthy.
Darlings, we love you so much. You will never even grasp how much we love you until you have children of your own, and then you'll get it, and then you'll apologize for the ways you treated us ;) But our goal is not to please you. Our goal is to please our Heavenly Father. And nowhere in the bible does the Lord command that we save our money to send our kids to college.
But the Lord does command us to care for the orphan around fifty times. He does tell us to care for the poor around 300 times. He does tell us that when we care for the neediest, we are caring for Jesus Himself. And in chapter six of the book of Matthew, He tells us to seek His kingdom first, and let Him worry about the rest, like college tuition. Because it's all His anyway.
They said that one day y'all would resent us for using 'your' college money to go and get your sister out of an orphanage in Ethiopia and bring her home to you.
But I know my babies. Even at your tender ages, I know your hearts, and I have already seen you weep for the least of these. I know the prayers I offer up to God that He and not the world would shape the desires of your hearts. I am trusting Him to answer those prayers.
So, sugarbears - I just don't believe those people.
Love,Mommy
http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-dont-want-my-children-to-be-happy.html
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Ten Questions to Ask at the Start of a New Year or On Your Birthday
Once, when the people of God had become careless in their relationship with Him, the Lord rebuked them through the prophet Haggai. "Consider your ways!" (Haggai 1:5) he declared, urging them to reflect on some of the things happening to them, and to evaluate their slipshod spirituality in light of what God had told them.Even those most faithful to God occasionally need to pause and think about the direction of their lives. It's so easy to bump along from one busy week to another without ever stopping to ponder where we're going and where we should be going.
The beginning of a new year is an ideal time to stop, look up, and get our bearings. To that end, here are some questions to ask prayerfully in the presence of God.
1. What's one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?
2. What's the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?
3. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?
4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?
5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?
6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?
7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?
8. What's the most important way you will, by God's grace, try to make this year different from last year?
9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?
10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?In addition to these ten questions, here are twenty-one more to help you "Consider your ways." Think on the entire list at one sitting, or answer one question each day for a month.
11. What's the most important decision you need to make this year?
11. What's the most important decision you need to make this year?
12. What area of your life most needs simplifying, and what's one way you could simplify in that area?
13. What's the most important need you feel burdened to meet this year?
14. What habit would you most like to establish this year?
15. Who is the person you most want to encourage this year?
16. What is your most important financial goal this year, and what is the most important step you can take toward achieving it?
17. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your work life this year?
18. What's one new way you could be a blessing to your pastor (or to another who ministers to you) this year?
19. What's one thing you could do this year to enrich the spiritual legacy you will leave to your children and grandchildren?
20. What book, in addition to the Bible, do you most want to read this year?
21. What one thing do you most regret about last year, and what will you do about it this year?22. What single blessing from God do you want to seek most earnestly this year?
23. In what area of your life do you most need growth, and what will you do about it this year?24. What's the most important trip you want to take this year?
25. What skill do you most want to learn or improve this year?
26. To what need or ministry will you try to give an unprecedented amount this year?
27. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your commute this year?
28. What one biblical doctrine do you most want to understand better this year, and what will you do about it?
29. If those who know you best gave you one piece of advice, what would they say? Would they be right? What will you do about it?
30. What's the most important new item you want to buy this year?
31. In what area of your life do you most need change, and what will you do about it this year?
The value of many of these questions is not in their profundity, but in the simple fact that they bring an issue or commitment into focus. For example, just by articulating which person you most want to encourage this year is more likely to help you remember to encourage that person than if you hadn't considered the question.
If you've found these questions helpful, you might want to put them someplace—in a day planner, PDA, calendar, bulletin board, etc.—where you can review them more frequently than once a year.
So let's evaluate our lives, make plans and goals, and live this new year with biblical diligence, remembering that, "The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage" (Proverbs 21:5). But in all things let's also remember our dependence on our King who said, "Apart from Me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).
Great questions to consider as you look to the new yearhttp://www.biblicalspirituality.org/newyear.html
If you've found these questions helpful, you might want to put them someplace—in a day planner, PDA, calendar, bulletin board, etc.—where you can review them more frequently than once a year.
So let's evaluate our lives, make plans and goals, and live this new year with biblical diligence, remembering that, "The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage" (Proverbs 21:5). But in all things let's also remember our dependence on our King who said, "Apart from Me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).
Great questions to consider as you look to the new yearhttp://www.biblicalspirituality.org/newyear.html
Should Single Women adopt?
It's 2:10 AM and I have not been able to sleep. I knew this question was churning all day in my heart for a reason!! This question has come up so many times, and even more so with the post the other day about our treasure Elizabeth, that I just had to address it publicly.
I am thrilled that so many are wondering and praying and asking.
Here's my thoughts.....
I have often heard people say, "I am praying to see if this is the Lord's will for me. I have such a desire to adopt, but I am single."
There are two concerns that come to mind with this question:
1. Is it God's will?
2. But I'm single...
Whether it's about adoption or really anything else - when praying about "God's will" we must first find out if it in anyway contradicts with scripture. If it does, then it is most definitely NOT God's will.
When this applies to adoption, the question should be....."Is there anywhere in scripture where God says, "Do NOT care for the orphans"?"
Of course there is NOT!! Almighty God says there are two things that show true religion: (1) caring for the orphan and (2) caring for the widow.
There is not one place in scripture that I am aware of that God says, "You are single, sit back and take it easy, the care of the orphans is only for them-thar married folk." =)
Not a chance!!
The Lord has one definition of "true religion" - - -Caring for the orphan and widow
He did NOT say that pure religion was being a: pastor; staff pastor; Bible college employee; Sunday School teacher; world evangelist; prophet; deacon; elder a nice person or anything else.....
He simply said: show me you love me by caring for the orphans and widows.
Okay, so now is it God's will that single people (specifically) care for them. At the risk of sounding silly: How could something that is clearly God's heart not be His will for you?
I tend to think that people who struggle with this question are truly struggling with this: I want this so bad, I must not be worthy of it. (And that would be a lie from the pit of hell.)
Sweet bloggy friends: God has given you ONE life to live. It is only to be lived for Him. If it is lived for Him, He will one day say, "Well done thou good and faithful servant." It is not to be lived to please yourself but to please Him and only Him.
So how could God's will be different for you just because you are single?
It isn't.
It is the same.
We are to live to please Him by taking care of orphans, caring for the widows, serving the poor, giving our things away, living to meet the needs of others not our own personal wants.
If you are looking for permission to adopt - here it is: God's word says to do it! He does not have one standard for married people and one standard for the single person. Infact you are in a better !!! I hear from many married folks whose heart wants desperately to adopt yet their spouse says, "not a chance". (To which I say: fast and pray for a change in your spouses heart, but don't tell them you are fasting for that reason.)
The other day I was downtown with Dw. Infact, come to think of it, it was our anniversary. We had some time to waste as we were waiting for our dinner reservation time. We went in a little shop and there was a sign for sale. It struck me funny. You have to remember we have been happily married for 31 years (to the day).....but that sign said:
Any woman wanting a husband has obviously never had one
I laughed when I read it. I am a counselor by trade. I have talked to a bazillion ladies who are so unhappy with their husbands. And I have talked to more than my share of women who were once single and thought that happiness would come when they found that perfect man. Only thing is that that perfect man doesn't exist. And today, there are even fewer Godly men in existence.
You can wait for that perfect man and waste valuable years that could have been spent raising precious little ones in desperate need of a mommy. Two parent homes are thought by many to be ideal, but really....who says that has to be? Ever asked an orphan?
"Ummmmm, excuse me. I am single. I want to be a mommy......but I am waiting for a daddy...so in the meantime you sit there and enjoy that orphanage....cause I'm sure you'd rather be one of 400 kids....with no one to kiss your boo-boos or listen to your dreams while I sit over here waiting for Mr. Right."
Yeah, I don't think so.
There are kids all over this world who are longing for someone to say, "You are mine and we're in this together. We may not have a daddy at the moment (or maybe ever), but we will let God be your daddy and I will be your mommy, and by the way He happens to be a really cool daddy, infact He is the only Perfect Daddy."
Here are some kids that you could pose that question to:
Would you rather have just a mommy and not a daddy
or
Would you rather wait, hope, dream that someday a mommy & daddy come for you?
I applaud the courage of some of my sweet bloggy friends like: Carol (in northern Colorado), Sandee, and Dawn.....just a few of the women who have said, "I am not married, but I can be a great mom and I'm not waiting for a husband to do that. I will care for the orphan because that's God's will for all of us!" You guys have my utmost respect - may God pours heaps of blessings on you and your children!!
So maybe you're still not convinced......take time to fast and pray and study scripture.....just for starters take a look at these folks.....
Esther....who God used to protect the Jewish nation from certain impending death....Esther was raised by her uncle...and there is never a mention of an aunt. (Doesn't mean there wasn't an aunt, but she obviously wasn't very important to the story.)
Or how about Moses......drawn out of the water and eventually lived with Pharoah's daughter....never a mention of Pharoah's daughter's husband....(Doesn't mean there wasn't one, but he obviously wasn't very important to the story.)
And on that note....I am 100% convinced that single women should adopt.
I am 100% convinced that it is God's heart.
I am 100% convinced that He will meet every single need each one has as they are in the process and throughout raising each child.
I am 100% convinced that God has a child in mind for each of you who are willing to say, "Okay, I'm going for it!"
I am 100% convinced that the body has been called to partner with singles who adopt to make their road easier.
I am 100% convinced that there are kids all around this world wondering and praying and begging God if there couldn't possibly be a mommy out there for them?
I am 100% that you will make a great mommy!
I am 100% convinced that His plan for you is NOW!
Learning to Count Your Blessings
Not many of us make it through this world without a few nicks or cuts along the way. I don’t think I can name a single person I have ever met who hasn’t faced some kind of trial. No matter how hard they tried to take the right steps or make the right choices- sometimes bad things just happen. Sometimes we are innocent and other times we are not. But none the less- this thing called life is often not fair and often so hard.
When we decided to adopt our sibling group we knew from their ‘records’ that life had indeed not been fair to them and actually had been down right rotten. To protect their privacy I will not go into detail, but I will tell you that if in your mind you could imagine yourself in one of the darkest, scariest, places in this world-you might be able to catch a glimpse of what my precious babies had to endure. But here is the thing- my job as their mother is to now help them escape from that place... I don’t want them to stay there any longer. I want them to run free and be everything that God had intended for them to be from the very beginning when He created them. To do that, to heal, I believe that they not only have to learn how to eventually ‘use’ those trials to help others, but they have to learn to see good in them as well.One of the things we have begun to do with the kids to begin this healing is to teach them to see other people have trails as well.. I’m not saying we are pulling the old ‘you think you had it bad you should see what I went through’ kind of thing… but rather just letting them know that there are others out there who have hurt like they have hurt too. They are not alone and they have nothing to be ashamed. I have pointed out positive role models who have perhaps gone through something similar in their past and how God used them to make a difference.
The second thing we are working on is teaching them how to be appreciative. I really believe that this is something us humans need to be taught. I think that often times people are so locked into their pain, so bonded to their misery, that they do not have any energy to lift their eyes and see the good- the blessings that God has given to them. Ever been around someone like that? They are so self absorbed that their lives become useless, their pain so unbearable, that they are unable to move on. They let their past circumstance become who they are- and that is all they are ever able to be. That is what I do not want for my kids. Someone else’s choices- someone else’s past mistake are NOT who they are.So lately we have been coaching the kids to notice all of the things we have to be thankful for. For instance- as we drive to school in the mornings we thank God for our vehicle because there are many who do not have one. This is truly something we take for granted. When we arrive at the school and the volunteers are waiting outside in the cold to open our car doors and help us into the building- I point out to the kids that they are doing just that- volunteering to stand out in the cold to open their door when they don’t have to. When someone sends them a gift- we talk about how hard that person had to work to earn the money, how they then took the time to drive to the store, choose the gift, spent their hard earned money on not only the gift but on the wrapping paper or postage, and how they didn’t have to do that for them. They didn’t have to acknowledge them, they didn’t have to celebrate them. But they did- and that is a true blessing. I don’t want them thinking that someone has to buy them a gift just because it’s their birthday. I want them to concentrate on all that went into that gift and how loved they must be to receive it. It has also been a good reminder for me too. How many times have I taken my family, my husband, my friends, for granted without really seeing their sacrifice and truly noticing how blessed I am. And I will say that when I allow myself to focus on my blessings- I view my life- my world, in a whole new light.
Try it, right now.
I dare you.
Do you have a job? Then you are blessed.
Did you eat today? Then you are blessed.
Are you and your family healthy? Then you are blessed?
What else?
Look around you…and start counting.
I guarantee you once you are done counting your blessings the hard parts in your life won’t look quite as impossible to overcome. God is right there waiting for you to see Him, to notice the ways He has blessed you and He's ready to help you move on and help you become the person He created you to be.Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 1 Peter 5, 6-10
http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/2009/01/learning-to-notice-our-blessings.html
When we decided to adopt our sibling group we knew from their ‘records’ that life had indeed not been fair to them and actually had been down right rotten. To protect their privacy I will not go into detail, but I will tell you that if in your mind you could imagine yourself in one of the darkest, scariest, places in this world-you might be able to catch a glimpse of what my precious babies had to endure. But here is the thing- my job as their mother is to now help them escape from that place... I don’t want them to stay there any longer. I want them to run free and be everything that God had intended for them to be from the very beginning when He created them. To do that, to heal, I believe that they not only have to learn how to eventually ‘use’ those trials to help others, but they have to learn to see good in them as well.One of the things we have begun to do with the kids to begin this healing is to teach them to see other people have trails as well.. I’m not saying we are pulling the old ‘you think you had it bad you should see what I went through’ kind of thing… but rather just letting them know that there are others out there who have hurt like they have hurt too. They are not alone and they have nothing to be ashamed. I have pointed out positive role models who have perhaps gone through something similar in their past and how God used them to make a difference.
The second thing we are working on is teaching them how to be appreciative. I really believe that this is something us humans need to be taught. I think that often times people are so locked into their pain, so bonded to their misery, that they do not have any energy to lift their eyes and see the good- the blessings that God has given to them. Ever been around someone like that? They are so self absorbed that their lives become useless, their pain so unbearable, that they are unable to move on. They let their past circumstance become who they are- and that is all they are ever able to be. That is what I do not want for my kids. Someone else’s choices- someone else’s past mistake are NOT who they are.So lately we have been coaching the kids to notice all of the things we have to be thankful for. For instance- as we drive to school in the mornings we thank God for our vehicle because there are many who do not have one. This is truly something we take for granted. When we arrive at the school and the volunteers are waiting outside in the cold to open our car doors and help us into the building- I point out to the kids that they are doing just that- volunteering to stand out in the cold to open their door when they don’t have to. When someone sends them a gift- we talk about how hard that person had to work to earn the money, how they then took the time to drive to the store, choose the gift, spent their hard earned money on not only the gift but on the wrapping paper or postage, and how they didn’t have to do that for them. They didn’t have to acknowledge them, they didn’t have to celebrate them. But they did- and that is a true blessing. I don’t want them thinking that someone has to buy them a gift just because it’s their birthday. I want them to concentrate on all that went into that gift and how loved they must be to receive it. It has also been a good reminder for me too. How many times have I taken my family, my husband, my friends, for granted without really seeing their sacrifice and truly noticing how blessed I am. And I will say that when I allow myself to focus on my blessings- I view my life- my world, in a whole new light.
Try it, right now.
I dare you.
Do you have a job? Then you are blessed.
Did you eat today? Then you are blessed.
Are you and your family healthy? Then you are blessed?
What else?
Look around you…and start counting.
I guarantee you once you are done counting your blessings the hard parts in your life won’t look quite as impossible to overcome. God is right there waiting for you to see Him, to notice the ways He has blessed you and He's ready to help you move on and help you become the person He created you to be.Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 1 Peter 5, 6-10
http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/2009/01/learning-to-notice-our-blessings.html
The Weimer 12 (3+3+3+1)
06 January 2010
I have truly NEVER heard an adoption story quite like this family. They will literally inspire the socks right off your feet. I met Heidi (super mom) 2 years ago when we first started our journey. I was a complete bloggy stranger, but she took the time often to encourage me. I mean, really encourage me!! The Weimer family are my adoption heroes- all 11 of them + one on the way- congrats Weimers on your big news! Don’t miss the opportunity to watch the promo video for their special documentary coming soon. I promise – you will be inspired!
A special quote from Heidi:
We are often asked WHY? Why would we adopt THREE kids, more-less SIX kids? Why would we do this? Why devote our lives to this “cause” (if you can truly even call it that).Here’s why:
- Because we believe that this life is not our own.
- Because we believe that in the end, it won’t matter what career ladders we climbed or financial investments we made or what gadgets we could afford. It will matter that six lives were saved.
- Because we have seen hopelessness firsthand in Ethiopia and elsewhere, but believe in all hope that each child is a child of God.
- Because we believe that the orphaned street child who plays street soccer on the rough pavement of the streets of Addis Ababa is no less valuable to the Creator than the polished child on a suburban soccer team here in America.
- Because we see nothing more worthy of our focus, time, resources, and lives.
- Because injustice is a wrong worth righting.
Because the poor child is still a child. - Because we know that, while adoption is not the solution in and of itself to the orphan crisis 143 million times over, we have seen with our own lives how it rescues the lives of those who can be adopted.
- Because we believe that Jesus died for redemption, not just for eternity, but for our lives on this planet and we believe we can be vessels of that redemption for children’s lives here.
- Because we know that, if it were our own flesh and blood, we would want someone to love them and call them family, too.
- Because, really, these kids are no different from your own. Not at all.
- Because it’s just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs a home when we have one.
- Because it’s just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs a family when we have one.
- Because it’s just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs room to thrive when we have room and can make room.
- Because it’s just not okay with us to do nothing.
- Because it won’t be okay with them if we do nothing.
Because it’s just not going to be okay to do nothing.
“Rescue the perishing; don’t hesitate to step in and help. If you say, “Hey, that’s none of my business,” [i.e. "that's not for me"] will that get you off the hook? Someone is watching you closely, you know— Someone not impressed with weak excuses.” -Proverbs 24:12
http://mycrazyadoption.org/december-adoption-family-the-weimer-11-333
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